the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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