don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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