I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
