Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize