Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
