I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize