two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
