Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
