no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
