either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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