I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's blow job season.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
