Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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