Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
