I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
