Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
