i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
