I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
