im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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