omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize