Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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