btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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