his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
