yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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