i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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