your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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