and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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