i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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