when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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