If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
