I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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