i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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