just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
