Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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