Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
