Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
