Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
