Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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