You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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