Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
