My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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