my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
