I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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