so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
