Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
