i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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