I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
