I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
