nutella sex= disaster
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
