would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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