i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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