i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
