We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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