i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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