If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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