it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
