his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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