I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
