Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
