just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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