IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
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I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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