why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
