Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize