How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
