my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
