did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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